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It could be worse

Kris(tina) sent me this Craigs List post to prove that my luck with boys could in fact be worse than it actually is...

"I don't even know how to begin to tell anyone the shame I'm facing. Better here to an anonymous group than to ever tell people I know. Where do I begin? Well, a few months back I began chatting with a girl from an online dating site. Over the course of a few months, we became somewhat serious even though we had never met in person. The longer we spoke on the phone, the more I dreaded meeting her. You know, it was so perfect that I was worried that things are sometimes different in reality. Perhaps she wouldn't like my features in the real world or feel no chemistry...things happen. Anyway, she wanted to go out for Thai food which I have limited knowledge of, but I was game. I was a little concerned since I do suffer from irritable bowel syndrome and spices can really affect me. Nevertheless, I made my way to the restaurant and to my surprise, she was absolutely stunning. Literally, I could barely speak and it made me even more nervous. Was she thinking that I wasn't good enough? Who knows? Anyway, I quickly ordered a drink to settle my nerves and we ordered our food. I was not sure how spicy things were because they had this stupid rating system where there are anywhere from 1-5 spices beside each menu item to let you know how hot the item is. I ordered mine and she ordered hers, the drinks were having their intended effect on me, the conversation was great and I really began to notice the sexual tension between us. Our food items arrived and I scarfed mine down because I had held back all day. By the end of the evening we were drinking our wine and we were leaning into each other over the table when it happened...I felt liquid gush from ass into my underwear. OMG! THE HORROR!!! What the hell do I do now, I thought! I was fighting it and clenching my anus as tightly as I could. It seemed to help and with only a bit of liquid shit in my underwear, there was the off chance that she might not smell it and we could still go home and fool around. Unfortunately, I wasn't to be that lucky. The problem with irritable bowel syndrome is that if you fight the liquid and gasses, it only builds up. Right at the moment that I stood up..KABOOM!!..I farted an endless stream of explosive diahrrea into my underwear. I am not kidding you when I say the liquidy fart lasted at least 20 seconds. The entire restaurant stared in horror as the sound of my gurgling farts reverberated throughout the room. I tried to fight it, but it was like trying to stop a leaking dam with your finger. Before I knew it, chunks of shit and liquid were making their way down my leg and onto the resaurant floor. I tried to nonchalantly kick it under the table, but everyone was watching...in horror. I felt like dying! I looked up ever-so-briefly at my date and she just looked shell shocked. I didn't know what to say so I told her to go, but I did gesture for her to 'call me' with my thumb and pinky to my ear. After that, I couldn't even look at anyone in the restaurant. I paid my bill, grabbed a couple of Georgia Straights to cover my car seats and then drove home so I could bathe and burn my clothes. Should I even bother calling her or do you think it's over?"

...hmm, tough call.

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